No.11483
bored as shit so may as well talk about my thoughts on this here cause i have a few but its pretty banal bullshit not worth bothering anybody about irl
ive been at like 4-6 cigs a day over the past few years which started after a couple years of just bumming cigs occasionally when i was at bars or pool halls. the most i will ever smoke in a day is half a pack and ill feel disgusting from it, cant imagine going thru a pack a day. i do definitely get bad cravings after like 12 hours without nicotind. its a very bad habit and i know ultimately very likely to get me very sick but for now im not trying to beat myself up over it or "try" to quit in a half-ass way. i have a weightlifting routine, eat well, have good hygiene & am generally active, which doesnt offset the damage of course, its kind of just cope, but i dont see a reason to feel especially guilty or weak because of what is in daily life a relatively minor vice.
the thing is, i do genuinely enjoy smoking most of the time. people get so up in arms and obnoxious over the idea that people might actually enjoy doing something that has been a widely popular vice for a few hundred years now.
yes, it is bad for you and you should not start smoking. yes, it is addictive and very hard to stop once you've been smoking for a while. but i did not smoke a cigarette for the first time and immediately have nicotine goblins take control of my brain and lie to me about enjoying it. it took me 2 years of smoking occasionally as a treat, like once every 2-3 weekends, to start buying packs, and i started buying them after a bad family tragedy + working an especially shit job where it gave me something to look forward to at breaks. i liked the taste of tobacco and enjoyed the ritual of having a cigarette years before i ever bought a pack, let alone was as addicted as i am now. im not saying its not a stupid thing to start doing, or that it isnt very naive and stupid for me & ppl who started in similar ways to think they could be the exception of getting addicted. no argument there.
but why do people feel like they can be so openly elitist and obnoxious to people for smoking? if youre talking to a friend or family who refuses to quit despite age or health problems, or if somebody is being inconsiderate with where they're smoking, ok yeah put pressure on them, that's one thing. but people will walk down the street and see you smoking on your break and say, to themselves or people theyre with, "thats disgusting" "idk how anyone can do that to themselves", etc. you go out for a cigarette around a new group of people and chances are someone will say "you know thats bad for you, right?" gimme a fucking break, why be such a snob about it. if i have a bad day and smoke half a pack ill feel it and it feels bad, but watching the garbage tv people watch for 10 minutes makes me feel even worse than that and i dont harass people for consuming something stupid even tho its completely normal to "binge watch XD" absolute bottom barrel television for 6 hours a day. i dont even feel the desire to demean people for it, let alone like im entitled to call you a stupid sack of shit for it, but somehow so many people feel entitled to mock and lecture you if you smoke. doesnt really bother me that much, its not a big deal, which is part of why it's odd. who fucking cares? if you see someone who cant operate without drinking or someone whos clearly tweaking, that's sad. if you see someone who is old and sick and coughing and still chainsmoking, that's sad. maybe ill be that person one day, its definitely possible and will be because of bad decisions i made. but some random yuppie saying "i dont trust smokers" to someone they just met isnt out of concern for anybodys health, for some reason its just a socially acceptable way to demean people
/cope