>>2799>1. JUST ABOUT EVERY NON-PARASITE-INFECTED ANIMAL IN EXISTANCE HAS WHAT IS CALLED SURVIVAL INSTINCTS AKA LIVE AT ALL COSTSAnd humans are regularly suicidally depressed. It's not a matter of parasitic infection, maybe there's just something wrong with the way we live.
>2. THIS RANDOM IMPRESSIONABLE SAD OP IS OP OF TWO THREADS THAT DWELL ON SUICIDAL SHIT. I never did that, liar.
>3.HOW CAN ANIME AND ESCAPISM BE STUPID? ANTI-ANIME PEOPLE, YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW WHAT THEY DO FOR FUN? THEY WATCH ALL THE QUEERS DIARIES SHOWS ON NETFLIX! No I don't. I don't even have Netflix, I can't afford it and I don't have the time to watch random bullshit.
>4. YOU HAVE AN UNINFORMED NORMIE UNDERTSTANDING OF THE HUMAN BRAIN. THE SUICIDAL/DEPRESSION GLASSES TINT OF SEEING THE WORLD ISN'T A FORCE AND IT ISN'T CHANNELABLE. No I don't. I've tried to kill myself at least 5 times. It was my primary motivator and the desire on which I based my actions
for years. My last job I only got because I had spent all my money before a previous (failed) attempt and I needed money to buy a shotgun since that's a more reliable method than my previous one was. I wanted to die more than anything. No amount of stupid entertainment or hedonism or escapism changed that, it was all fake and meaningless and empty. Nothing felt good.
That didn't change. What changed is that I realized that there are people at the top levels of government who are even worse people than I am. The hate I feel for myself drove me previously to do all kinds of things in pursuit of ending my enemy, my self. I destroyed my life to die, and every day I lived on was an insult, a reminder of the humiliating times I failed even at dying. I hated myself more than I liked anything, needed to end it more than I needed anything. My life had no purpose but to end, and I realized that, from my perspective, life is mostly just pain and misery and the best anyone can hope for is a painless exit. The only thing which changed my perspective at all was seeing the US gov't fully back a genocide, because as much as I hated myself, I realized that those people doing that were much worse.
I saw people far away who really wanted to live, who have lives they care about, who have values and beliefs, and they were being wiped out by the will of my government. Those people care about their communities. They don't just sit around telling eachother to watch Goblin Slayer or whatever, they actually care about eachother and their lives and right and wrong, and they're being wiped out. When you realize that there are people high up in this world, at the highest levels of power, who are objectively worse than you, no matter how bad you think you are, that changes your perspective. All this hate I have has been drawn like a magnet to Joe Biden, to Blinken, to Netanyahu. I am not afraid to die, I made peace with death long ago, but I will not die for nothing, I will pursue my death fighting for liberation, and I embrace my liberation from this mortal cage as I do so.